Sunday, March 29, 2009

Why #9: Sandwich "Artists"


Why do the people at Subway have such distorted views on what "a little of that" or "a lot of those" actually means?

As you can tell from the picture (taken at Run Like Hell 5k in 10/07) I LOVE me some mustard. But let me stress the "some", this is a condiment that requires serious portion control. Too much of the must and the finest; ballpark dog/movie theater softie pretzel/ 6 inch sub becomes inedible.

It seems the more you specify how MUCH of something you want the more or less of it you are going to receive. I told the sandwich "artist" at my local Subway that I would like a LOT of pickles. He generously gave me 3 tiny pickle sliced bits. What the what? Then I told him I wanted a leeeetle mustard. He poured (seriously it was gushing from the bottle) at least a quarter of a cup of yellow flavor over-empowerment on my now ruined sub.

Ask for what you want and... you won't get it? So how can we proceed? What is the best course of action for getting what you want? If what you want is an over-pickled, under-mustarded sandwich do you have to order no pickles and a flood of mustard? Is every day opposite day at the Subway station?


Mary Ann* said...

First of all, it took a full ten minutes to compose myself and write this after looking at the mustard pic.

Let me tell you, that while I agree that this is a massive injustice on Subway's part, when I was a member of the food service corps, I was an asshole. You asks for extra malt in your DQ chocolate malt? You will be sucking down pure powder. "Just a tiiiiiiny bit" of mayo? Say hello to your fat blob sandwich. I think I just got annoyed at special requests. When people asked for them, I was determined to render their food inedible.

When I go to Subway (at least once a week) I use the specifics, i.e. 8 tomato slices and 14 pickles. I used to ask for "one very thin line" of light mayo, but now I've scrapped that altogether and go with the Fat Free Italian dressing packet. They roll their eyes at me, but my sandwich is delish every time. Good luck lady :)

Evan said...

I totally agree! Subway is awful when it comes to putting the "proper" amount of anything on their subs. But I do like the idea of telling your "artist" a specific number of something. The girl at my local Subway (today, actually) counted the number of salami slices on my sandwich no less than 3 times! They're so used to counting the number of pieces of meat and cheese, why not just tell them the exact number of pickles too?

And I, too, was an asshole at the ice cream shop! If you wanted more fudge in your sundae, you better believe I gave you more fudge. So much so that you would probably never order a hot fudge sundae from me again. Malts were fun to make as well, especially when the customer would make a snide comment like "Last time there wasn't enough malt!" Oh ho ho Mr. Customer, not enough? I won't disappoint this time, ASS!

Emily Holcombe said...

first of all, i too laughed like a maniac at the mustard pic for ten minutes (and i was the one who TOOK the picture!).

and then i cackled for another 20 at MA's comment of her old days at DQ. you are ridiculous:)

i am a VERY specific food orderer. i too have been denied enough pickles many a time. i wont let it slide. i do the old, "can i please have a lot of pickles" and then they only give me 2, because i've already loaded so many other things on they think the bun wont close. but i dont care and i am persistent. "can i actually have more than that? nope, still more? can i just have a handful?"

i do it at chipotle too. extra black beans please! nope, not enough, one more scoop.

i tend to drop the "im willing to pay for extra or double if i need to" to get my point across.

obviously im never ordering another malt anywhere - you people are insane! :)

BS said...

I have this problem with lettuce at any sandwich place. If it is that shredded crap I only want a little. When I go to Subway they still load me up with so much that it falls of the sandwich.

I understand where MA is coming from because I have witnessed some absurd requests and attitude in the line at Subway, but when I ask for LESS of something...COME ON!

BS said...

also, pickles are gross