Why #18: Car Door Denters

*Why #18 is brought to you by the amazingly wonderful Guest Blogger Jeanne*

Why?

Why do people park so close to you and then slam their car doors into your car? Is there a rhyme or a reason? Or are people too lazy and un-observant to see that your car, the one that you pay tons of money for, is sitting right there? Not only is this happening all over, it is happening when you park your car FAR away so this doesn't happen, and then that one person parks next to you in a lot that has a MILLION other spaces and still hits your door.

I mean is respect something of the past. If so watch out here comes my door!

***Jeanne, I found this website that sells Car Door Defenders (see the black bumpers attached to the silver car). Sure you would be the weirdo who drives around with bumpers on your car, but at least the doors would be ding free! Thanks for Guest Blogging!

Why #17: UPDATE*

I LOVE Miranda Lambert and am getting very nervous that this summer may not involve seeing her in concert. I was looking up tour dates and came across a show she is doing at a fair in Northern Ohio. It is on a weeknight, it is super far away, but it is GOING to happen based on this post on the ticket website...

MIRANDA LAMBERT
7:30 p.m.
Historically, the audience stands during Miranda Lambert concerts.

Please keep this in mind when making seat selections.

*LOVE LOVE LOVE*

Why #17: Lame Concert Crowds

Why?

Why are some people that go to concerts so lame? And not only lame, but nasty and bossy and absolutely convinced that NO ONE should be standing, dancing, or singing along?


In my opinion each and every person should be boot-stomping their music loving hearts out. I have been to far too many concerts surrounded by seated silent types. Are they even enjoying the music? I doubt it, because the minute you stand up to feel the rhythm of the beat, these people are tapping me on the shoulder and telling me to sit down because they can't see. Well too bad lazy pants. You and I paid the same for our ticket, if you want to see you can stand up behind me. Try it, you might actually have a little fun at this concert.

This is a problem that I face with each summer music season. And you really can't win. If you get lawn tickets you know everyone will be standing and dancing. But they will also be super drunk, peeing on your boots, and having drunken screaming fights with their boyfriend during Tim McGraw's "Letters to Home." If you get super expensive tickets in the front of the arena you will be seated with rich families who probably got the tickets through their dad's work. The kids might know the 2 most popular radio songs, the dad won't know any, and the mom will just be a b. Let me tell you, these people will not be standing, despite the fact that Kenny Chesney is mere feet in front of them. And they will NOT appreciate when you get bumped by the drunk cowboy behind you and accidentally spill some beer on the mom's Prada purse during "Poets and Pirates."

So what's a cowgirl to do? Get there early, establish a strict STANDING ONLY policy, and throw death glares at anyone who even mutters the words can't see or sit down.

Why #16: Facebook

Why?

Why is facebook so... fake?

Sure, facebook is great if life is going well. You just got engaged? You will be congratulated by the kid that set next to you in High School Chem lab. Promotion at work? Cheers to you from the guy that dated that girl that you kind of knew in college. But when the going is rough you had better not even think to mention it on fbook. The slightest sign of a bad day, depression, or broken heart and you are sure to receive a million posts checking in to make sure you are okay. Now remember the people checking in are all probably people you haven't actually spoken to or seen in at least 5-10 years. But still, they really care. And if this if what cheers you up, then just go right along posting on your wall about your bad hair day.

But what I would really like is a Lifebook. A place I could post a comment about a new hideously depressing song lyric I can't get out of my head ("you don't have to drag me down, i descend.") or some really morbid thought of the day. And instead of getting a cheery response to let me know they LUV me or I should try to LOL today, maybe people could write back with their own favorite depression song.

The thing is, your real friends know you. I am pretty sure if Em or MA* saw a status like "Lindsey is watching "A Walk to Remember" with a bottle of red and a box of razor blades" they would know that I was not seriously depressed, just seriously in need of a night wallowing in a little sadness. But you can't put that kind of stuff on fbook. The next thing I know my aunts, cousins, and godmother (how did this happen, why are my family members on fbook?) would all be calling a hotline and signing me up for counseling.

So I guess the story is, on Facebook I put my best self forward. Lindsey is shopping/boot-stomping/loving life. And on my blog, I am putting my whole self forward.

Lindsey is shopping (new sephora purchase she can't afford/boot-stomping (keith urban fri and shawn colvin sat (sunny came home ))/loving life(but missing miss sugar bean something awful).